So it's been a good month or so of being back in Thailand. I have re-acclimated pretty well- I sure enjoyed the snow and cold in Colorado, but running in a tank top and shorts in January is nice too. :) So I'm thankful to be back. It was good to see my friends again after the break, which was a nice thing to realize- that this really is becoming a place where I'm living well.

In school over the last month, we had a Noah's ark themed field day and a 100th day of school party where we all dressed like we were 100 years in the future. Here are some photos for you: We have an alligator, a tiger and Noah in the first picture, and part of my class dressed in future gear in the second.




I've had a really thick weekend that got me thinking about some pretty big stuff. On Friday night I went to visit the bars and a hotel where lots of women from Uzbekistan prostitute themselves. In the bar where Thai women dance in hopes to get a guy to take them home, the bar was absolutely packed full. Normally it is full of guys who you aren't surprised to see there- guys who might have a tough time getting a date in their home country. Not this time, though. The bar was full of good looking 20 and 30 somethings- guys who I might see in church or working at my school or in an office. I was frustrated to see these guys flocking to see these women who needed their money more than wanted their comapnionship. I thought about how there aren't really strip club equivalents for females. I was puzzled and troubled by this seemily world-wide epidemic of men who are getting their needs met in this way...and how many single females fill our churches. I'm not saying I want to end up with a guy who goes to these bars. What i am saying is that I want these men to be honest about their longing to be a man and to discover the true source of where masculinity can be bestowed- from the Father God who created these men and whose heart breaks as he sees them settle for so much less than what he intended for them.

We then went to the hotel that has a restaurant full of Uzbek women, scantily clad and hopeful to work enough to pay back their pimps and have some money leftover to send home. I approached 2 women and tried talking with them- I found out that thye had arrived only 2 days ago. One started talking on her cell phone and the other asked me to not talk with her. I was totally embarrassed and felt rejected and hurt- like a middle school kid in the cafeteria, hoping to not be turned down and failing miserably. My heart being tender anyway, I looked around at all the middle eastern men who were there looking for a good time and was sickened and repulsed by what I saw. I couldn't hold it together as I felt hot tears surge to the surface. My friend Kadie took me to the bathroom, let me cry, and prayed for me. I went home sad that night and woke up sad the next morning. I wondered if I really needed to keep doing this- clearly my heart is tender and affected by the atrocities I see every time I go. But I was reminded of the fact that just because I stop going doesn't mean this stops happening. And since I don't feel released from what God has asked me to do, I keep going, hopeful for breakthrough and that God would lead me to women who are hungry for more than what they are experiencing in these places.

But the really beautiful thing is what happened the next day. I felt prompted to start reading "These Strange Ashes", an autobiographical book by Elisabeth Elliot describing her time as a missioinary in Ecuador. One verse that was particularly powerful to her is found in Isaiah 50:7- "Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame." I found great comfort in reading the story of someone older and wiser than I who has also lived in a dark place and found comfort not from burying or killing her heart, but in trusting in her God and his heart towards her- being confident of what he has asked her to do and to keep going. Such good words. Needed words.

And then on a more fun and light-hearted note, I got to go on a super-fun bicycle tour of Bangkok.



It was called the jungle tour because they took us to this pretty undeveloped part of the city and we got to ride our bikes around for hours, seeing beautiful plants and hear the sounds of jungle-ish sounding birds. What a gift- to be reminded that heartache and brokenness is part of the world, but beauty and redemption are part of it, too. I want to camp out there- to have my eyes open tot he sweet gifts God wants to bring to me, and to wait for them expectantly.

So those are some of the most recent happenings here in my neighborhood. I hope you all are doing well!

Who the heck gets to live like this?

Three days I returned from one incredible gift of a vacation. I got to spend 15 days with dear family and friends in my favorite place in the world: Colorado. God gave me eyes to see just how good I have it when I was putting on my ski goggles and then remembered a month before when I was putting on snorkeling goggles, getting ready to behold the treasures of the Andeman Sea. Who the heck gets to live like this, I thought?
My heart is still overflowing with thankfulness as I recount all the sweet gifts I got to enjoy with my family. Sitting around a cozy cabin in Brek and playing Scrabble with my mom and Darlene, seeing my breath and frozen perfect little snow flakes after not having seen such wonders for 2 years, and zipping down the slopes with my whole family are some of the highlights of my first bit of time in the US. Another fun memory is my first time going off of a fun box in the terrain park at Copper Mountain. Good grief…what I will do when prodded by my brother…
After skiing, our family headed to Oak Creek for Christmas in Rob and Jules’ community. It was such a gift to wake up and shout Christmas carols with my sisters and then go to Rob and Jules’ home for present opening. An ordinary event became magical as I got to sit with my family and watch them open presents rather than talk with them on the phone and imagine them opening presents without me. What a gift to be with the fam at Christmastime. Perhaps my favorite part of the day was when Rob took us for a ride in the ski cat- a gargantuan piece of machinery that plowed through huge drifts of snow and over creek beds long lost under feet of snow. I was so proud to see Rob in action, knowing how to drive and fix these machines. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen trees so heavily laden with snow. We went up Buffalo Pass just outside of Steamboat after a huge storm, and it was ridiculous to see more white than green surrounding us. Incredible. One fun part of my time in Oak Creek was getting to see Oscar, Rob and Jules’ adopted outside kitty-cat. He sure is cute. Here’s a picture for you to enjoy.



The rest of my time at home was spent in Monument. I was so blessed to spend time with a few dear hearts who I love so much- God used this time to sort of re-ground me in reality- reminding me of who I am and what my life is about and what is true. A morning of worship in Vanguard Church and conversations with the folks who knew me best were incredible tools God used to just remind me of who I am and what I want my life to be about. It was powerful.
And the climactic ending of my time there was watching my dear friend of 15 years, Noelle Nygren, become Noelle Goodlin. It was a sweet few days of celebrating Noelle and the significance of her life. Truly it is a significant one. My heart was so full of thankfulness as I thought of the years and memories I’ve shared with Noelle. Who the heck gets to have a friend like that, I kept asking myself. I guess someone who God loves so deeply and wants to bless through people like Noelle Goodlin.
So it was a great time at home and now it’s back to the grind in Bangkok. (What?? Once again, who the heck gets to say that??) My head hit the pillow at 4 am on Wednesday, only to get up off the pillow at 6:30 am in order to work at 7. It’s been a thick couple of days, experience post-vacation let-down a little bit and missing folks at home, but the truth remains that there is so much I have to be thankful for. So I’m doing my best to just enjoy and swim around in THAT reality- that God has given me so many presents and there is so much for which to be thankful.
I went on outreach with Nightlight last night and met 3 new women for whom I now have great hope that life will be different. Nareeva, Osonna, and Om are 3 beautiful women having to do to dehumanizing work. I hope on their behalf that 2008 will be a year of radical life change and redemption. Hope and pray with me on behalf of these women. And if you’d like to give to an organization that is working every day on behalf of thousands of women like them, check out Nightlight’s website. It really is a remarkable organization that I’m so humbled to be a part of.

Livin the dream

I struggle to share what this weekend was like without sounding spoiled. I seriously feel that way...like I have a heavenly Father who just lavishes gifts upon me that I don't deserve. So I share this stuff humbly, not wanting to sound like, "Look at how cool I am and how interesting my life is," but more like, "Man...who is this God who takes such good care of me and graces me with presents more wild and beautiful than I could ever concont on my own?"

So this last weekend I went to Cambodia with my friend Kamyee to run a half-marathon at Angkor, one of the 7 wonders of the ancient world.




On our taxi ride to the town where the ancient ruins are, we shared the road with lots of bicycles, motorcycles with 3 or 4 passengers, even a few ox carts. We were greeted in Siem Reap with beautiful French architecture and delightful cafes. Outside of our guesthouse was an amputee who was selling pirated (photocopied) books trying to make money off the tourists. That was one of the sickening parts of the weekend that I continue to be puzzled and a little bit sad about...how someone like me gets to enjoy a delightful weekend in this beautiful country and enjoy looking at the rice paddies and palm trees, while others who live in Cambodia have had limbs blown off walking through those same fields that I think are so beautiful. I don't know how to reconcile the unfairness of this- how I got to be born in the USA and earn a degree and have all sorts of choices about the job I wanted to have, and this guy is left to sell books to tourists who make more money in a year than what he might see in his whole life. So that was certainly a toughie to chew on when i was there and it continues to trouble my heart as I think about it.

THankfully, though, that wasn't the only overarching theme of the weekend. I was blown away by God's extravagence and beautify throughout the weekend. We rode our bike through the ruins (acutally, we rode on a road that travels from ruin to ruin- about a 10 mile loop). On our ride we got hissed at by a monkey, we saw elephants giving rides to tourists, and I saw huge trees actually growing over ancient ruins.


I saw beautiful Cambodian children who captured my heart in a way that is different than any other people group has effected me. They are BEAUTIFUL. Big smiles, kind eyes, and seemingly sincere. I loved seeing them. And when we ran the half marathon, they stood along the race route, excitedly giving us high fives and encouraging us with the few English phrases they knew. What a sweet gift to run a race in the cool of the morning, through the jungle (on a paved road) among incredible ancient structures.


Who the heck am I that I get to do this stuff?

I enjoyed great conversation all weekend with my dear friend Kamyee. She is fast becoming one of my favorite people here, and she is a delightful travel companion. we made good decisions together and were both up for adventure. When listing our possible options for getting from the airport to the town where the race was (about a 4 hour trip), I suggested the possibility of renting motorcycles to drive ourselves up there. Kamyee paused and cocked her head, giving thoughtful consideration to my suggestion. I later told her that I loved how she even considered driving a motorcycle for 4 hours in Cambodia. She told me that she loved that I even suggested it. :) So yeah- you get the idea of what a fun-loving, down-for-adventure kind of girl Kamyee is. I sure love her.

So I guess that's it. Thanks to those of you who were praying for us. We were totally safe and had an incredible time. Except for being a little chaffed and soar from the race, I'm in good shape and am ready to push hard through these last 11 school days I have. Hip hip hooray! I'll be in the white and fluffy stuff (if Colorado gets any, that is) before i know it. :)

Who's your favorite tour guide in Southeast Asia?

I asked my parents this question on our way back from beautiful Railay Beach and of course the uncontensted answer was me. Even though I'm the only tour guide they've ever had in Southeast Asia... :) None the less, we had a great time riding elephants and tuk tuks (large motorized tricycles that zoom and pollute the streets of Bangkok), marveling at orchids and jutting cliffs that shoot up from emerald and azure water. I've been super encouraged by good conversations with my parents and feel very blessed in general to be able to enjoy their company this week. What a gift. Here are some photos to capture some of the sweetest moments of the trip:

In Chiang Mai (the second largest city in Thailand), one of the highlights was getting to ride the elephants. I don't know what was more fun- seeing how much my parents enjoyed riding the elephant, or getting to ride on the neck of an elephant. I'd always wanted to do that but hadn't gotten to on my last 2 elephant riding trips...my guide wasn't as friendly on the other 2 trips, I guess. But I lucked out this time and got to ride on his neck instead of the little cart thingie! They are super rough with prickly hairs, and they lumber side to side and he would always put his trunk back in the hopes of getting another banana. What amazing creatures.


This is Mom, Dad and me in a Tuk Tuk. On this day wee got to see the Grand Palace (kind of like Thailand's White House) as well as my favorite park, Lumpini Park. Dad came up with the great idea of riding a tuk tuk, which really is a great idea...the pollution and noise just got a little old after the frist 20 minutes or so of the ride. Still, it was a totally Thai thing to do- I'm glad Dad suggested it. :)


This was one of the super beautiful caves we got to see at one of the beaches near Krabi. It is world-renowned for it's incredible rock formations and attracts climbers from all over the place who want to climb these amazing rocks near this beautiful water. What a gift to get to see this stuff, huh?



And here is one of the most beautiful women I know in one of the prettiest places I've yet seen. I so enjoyed conversations with mom and dad and getting to share this beautiful place with them.



I should say that another highlight was getting to take them to school with me for a day. Dad gave a killer lesson on tools (we were talking about the tools the pilgrims used, so Dad got to share with them what tools we use today) and Mom helped them make the cute apple turkey/marshmellow craft that most of us probably made in elementary school. It was a super fun day. I love that they got to meet my students and colleagues and see where I work. They took pictures of this day and I'll try and load some onto the blog as soon as she sends me a disk.

As for now, that it all. Happy Loi Kratong to you all- it is the Thai festival of lights and they are playing crazy loud music outside my room right now which is why I'm writing this instead of sleeping. :) But I'm off to bed now. Thanks for reading!

So we did it! My first international 10K race! Kamyee and I finished along with our friend Kristin. We were sweaty and a little chaffed by the time it was done, but we had a great time. It was a neat (and sort of confusing) experience to do something like this in a place where you can't understand a lot of what is going on. We found out that the women had a different starting line from the men, and we all just sort of blobbed together at the start line- there weren't any waves or anything. We all just counted to 3 and then started running- no gun shots or anything official to get us started, just a runner-led countdown. It was a neat experience- I'm thankful I did it.

Kamyee and I decided to run in a half-marathon in Cambodia in about 3 weeks! I'm feeling a bit under the weather right now, so feel free to pray that I'll be fully recovered and ready to go by December 2. It's at Angkor Wat, one of the 7 wonders of the world- I guess it's this set of ancient ruins that is miles and miles long. We will be running around it, I guess. I'm excited!

In other news, I had a killer birthday. I enjoyed a delightful meal and concert with my friends. God took good care of me- I felt crazy loved and remembered by my friends. Here is a picture of Kristie and me, one of my new dear friends I've made over here.




And the marine corps ball the weekend after my birthday went really well. I got to hear my first ever Asian Elvis Impersonator. :) It was a delightful evening where I felt really elegant and beautiful. The food was incredible, I used like 8 pieces of silverware for dinner, and dancing afterwards was a ton of fun. It was just a great celebration. Here's a picture of Elvis and me.

International night, my new friends, and musings on this year

So this is a picture of me in my Phylis halloween outfit- a bunch of us decided to dress up as characters from the TV show The Office. It was pretty funny to see everyone dressed up as such kooky characters. I sure am thankful to have friends here who like to be silly and have fun.

One of those friends and I get to do a 10K (about 6 miles) race tomorrow here in Bangkok! I'm so excited! We've been training and are fired up to get to run through one of the prettiest parts of Bangkok- the old part, right by the palace, the river, and lots of beautiful government buildings. This is a picture of Kamyee and me.




She is a delight. She has a husband named Steve and a beautiful little girl named Noelle and has become one of the people I'm most thankful for this year. We run together most Saturday mornings and she comes to Nightlight with me sometimes on Friday nights. God is just so kind to me in giving me folks like Kamyee.

A couple of weeks ago our school had international night. This is where the kids get to dress up in costumes from their home countries and do songs or dances to teach us about their cultures. One of my favories was getting to see my Indian students dance for us. These little guys to my right are 2 super bright and just delightful kids. I'm so thankful to get to be their teacher and to walk with them as they are figuring out how the world works and what believe is true.



One more big upcoming event is my birthday! Hooray!! I'm turning the big 3-0 this year and am feeling pretty good about it. I am confident that I am living in God's absolute best for me here, so that feels good. It would NOT feel good to be turning 30 in Thailand if I were not confident of that, you know? So how kind of God to cement that in my mind- that his abundant life is available to me here and now, and that loving others on behalf of Jesus will ALWAYS be the best and most satisfying thing I can do with my life.

So here's the killer line-up God has prepared for me for this big-deal milestone of my 30th birthday celebration: James Galway, a world-renowned flute player, is playing with the Bangkok Symphony-Orchestera on my birthday! I play the flute, so it seemed like such a cool and personal gift that I would get to go out for an elegant evening with 7 of my girlfriends to listen to beautiful music on my big day. Then this next weekend, I'm going to a ball with a friend of mine named Julio I met salsa dancing. I got a beautiful red dress made in order to go to the marine corps ball. I'm excited! I guess it's a big deal diplomatic sort of affair. More than excitement about the actual dance is the message God is speaking to me through it- that I am beautiful and desirable even as I pass this milestone in life that many believe makes a woman less attractive. But God seems to be screaming to me that this is NOT true- that I am beautiful to him and to others. He sure is kind to me.

I haven't written as much this year in the ol' blog, perhaps because life here is becoming more normal. I still have eyes to see stuff around me as different- things like roosters that hang out by the motorcycle taxi drivers who are waiting for customers...or seeing people sell golf balls on the side of the road...or seeing an elephant on the same road as a prostitue and a missionary and a sunburned tourist. So I still see those things and shake my head at the wonder of being here in this land that seems so strange to me, but I guess I've become more used to seeing this stuff so it doesn't shock me so much anymore.

But I've been doing some thinking about what my time has been like here this year as compared to last year, and this is what I'm coming up with. Last year was about learning to love different people in a broad sense- the IDEA of loving the downtrodden, the privileged, the men I see in strip clubs. This year has been about coming to love them personally. I have befriended a man who has visited the bars as a customer. I was disgusted to find this out initially, but sensed what God was asking me to do was to love him in the middle of his messyness- to not run away and ditch him, leaving him to figure out for himself why he is loney and dissatisfied, but to point him to Jesus and tell him about how he can be loved perfectly by the God who came to earth 2000 years ago and continues to pursue his heart today. I'm learning to love my button-pushing students in whole new beautiful ways- to see them as the complex and intelligent beings that they are and to engage them and treat them with respect accordingly. I'm getting to take flowers to prostitutes on their birthdays. So yeah- those have been some of the biggies I've been learning about recently. I feel like I've graduated from kindergarten in the "school of how to love" and have been promoted to first grade, getting to apply these ideas that I started to learn last year. So those have been some of them major movements in my heart.

For those of you who are praying folks, you can pray with me as I continue to sort out what to do next year. I'm sensing that God is inviting me to stay another year here, which is disappointing in one sense...I was excited to come back to Colorado and engage life and relationship with the folks I love there...but I've got a good thing going on here, too, and unless God invites me to something else vocation-wise, this seems like a good place to stay. So feel free to offer thoughts or counsel to this end- I would love to hear what you have to say. That's all for now- thanks for reading!

white roses for a prostitute

So I know I just wrote...and I don't even have a photo to put with this post...but this is far too beautiful a story to not tell. I saw God's glory last night in a way that just made me worship today, and so I pass along this story to you. It is kind of a long story with lots of details to pay close attention to, but I truly believe it is a story worth reading and telling. I pray you are blessed in reading it like I am blessed in telling it.

Yesterday (Saturday) my plan was to go to a birthday party in the afernoon for my friend Sophia, go to an opening for an art exhibit, and then finish up the night salsa dancing. Somewhere in there I also wanted to get flowers for this woman I had met the night before on outreach with Nightlight. I will call her Nareeva. Saturday (yesterday) was to be Nareeva's birthday, and I hated the thought of her having to the do the work she does on ANY day, much less on her birthday. So I thought it would be nice to at least take her flowers and a card so she would know that someone nearby cares for her and remembers her on her special day. I was unsure, though, how I would work it out to deliver the flowers by myself- the hotel where the women work and wait for customers isn't really the kind of place I should visit by myself, and I hadn't asked anyone to join me in my journey there...I guess I just figured I would figure it out then or risk going there by myself. That certainly wasn't what I wanted to do, but I really wanted her to get those flowers, so I figured I would take the risk if need be. So this is the setup for one of the more divinely led and beautiful encounters I have had with the Living God in recent times.

I go to the birthday party which was a lot of fun- it felt great to visit with the friends I'm making and to realize that this place really is becoming the place where my heart can fully dwell. Then I go get a pedicure and buy a present for a different friend's wedding shower coming up this week and buy a huge wad of white roses. They are small roses wrapped in newspaper- pretty, but I felt a little badly getting ready to give them to her- wondering if she knew I had bought them on the street for about $1.50. But I put my feelings of cheapness aside and thought about how to spend the rest of my evening. I still had some time to burn, so I went to Starbucks to do some reading and journaling. This British guy in his 40's (guessing on that one) starts talking to me which I'm a little uncomfortable with, but I let it unfold and I ended up having an incredible conversation with him about poverty, prostitution and trafficking in Bangkok, and I ended up getting to tell him about how it makes me so thankful to get to be around the people who Jesus hung around when he was on earth- the prostitutes and all the people everyone else wanted to forget about. So that was cool- I wasn't expecting to get to have a good conversation like that with John the Brit.

I left Starbucks and went outside and try to catch a cab, to no avail. So I decide to take the skytrain to my next destination, my friend Pechula's art gallery where an opening is happening for a new artist. I get off the skytrain and start to walk toward Pechula's gallery, and I acutally bump into her on the street! She tells me that the opening isn't at her gallery; it's at a cultural center. So I go with her to the opening and meet up with my friends Mihoko and Naomi. Mihoko had met Nareeva with me the night before and also knew that today was her birthday, and she offered to come with me to deliver the flowers! I didn't have to go by myself anymore! The artist who work was displayed received tables full of beautiful boquets of flowers, and she was a believer, so she told us to take a boquet of exquisite white roses to Nareeva for her birthday. No dumpy flowers wrapped in newspaper for this lady- God wanted for her to have the best. So after I ate a delightful meal with Mihoko and 2 other friends, she and I walked to the hotel, found Nareeva, and gave her the flowers. The expression on her face...I don't have words. I can only describe it as one who is receiving real love- knowing someone sees you and cares for you and says you are worth something- when the only attention they usually receive from people is those who want something from them. It was the look of life and hope being allowed to flourish inside of her. On Friday she was just a prostitue who is only viewed for what can be taken from her. On Saturday she was the worthy recipient of beautiful white roses- a symbol of purity. She was absolutelly lit up. She couldn't stop smiling or saying thank you. I had written a card to her (in my preschool Russian handwriting) that told her I hoped she believed that Jesus loves her. And then I told her how happy I was to see HER so happy- how I had prayed that when she received the flowers, she would really believe that God loves her. She kissed me on both cheeks (that's the Uzbek way of greeting each other) and I told her we had to go. It was absolutely incredible. And I realized that getting to be a part of loving people and telling them about Jesus is absolutely the best, most thrilling thing I have ever been a part of. Way better than salsa dancing even. I still went dancing later that night, though I could have called it an evening after giving the flowers to Nareeva. I know that life still goes on for her...that tonight she will do the same horrifying work she does every night...but God is after this woman, as he is after all of humanity, I suppose. I pray that she would know know and believe the living God sees and loves her in a way that would draw her into relationship with him. She is Muslim, so please pray for wisdom as I think about how to share Jesus with her in a way that makes sense. Pray, too, that God would give her a dream or vision of Jesus. This is happening to Muslims all over the world, and I want it to happen to her. Please pray for her, that she would choose to receive God's love- to believe that God DOES have a good plan for her life and that she would do her part by inviting God's believing in Jesus. Pray that she would be willing to go home- to leave this lucrative but soul-killing work. And praise God with me for the amazing work he is doing in bringing his love to these women in incredibly personal and powerful ways. What an incredible God we have. I love walking with him and seeing him at work.

That's it. Thanks for reading! I know it was long, but I just had to tell the story. Be encouraged! God is on the move!!