Saturday, February 9, 2008

So it's been a good month or so of being back in Thailand. I have re-acclimated pretty well- I sure enjoyed the snow and cold in Colorado, but running in a tank top and shorts in January is nice too. :) So I'm thankful to be back. It was good to see my friends again after the break, which was a nice thing to realize- that this really is becoming a place where I'm living well.

In school over the last month, we had a Noah's ark themed field day and a 100th day of school party where we all dressed like we were 100 years in the future. Here are some photos for you: We have an alligator, a tiger and Noah in the first picture, and part of my class dressed in future gear in the second.




I've had a really thick weekend that got me thinking about some pretty big stuff. On Friday night I went to visit the bars and a hotel where lots of women from Uzbekistan prostitute themselves. In the bar where Thai women dance in hopes to get a guy to take them home, the bar was absolutely packed full. Normally it is full of guys who you aren't surprised to see there- guys who might have a tough time getting a date in their home country. Not this time, though. The bar was full of good looking 20 and 30 somethings- guys who I might see in church or working at my school or in an office. I was frustrated to see these guys flocking to see these women who needed their money more than wanted their comapnionship. I thought about how there aren't really strip club equivalents for females. I was puzzled and troubled by this seemily world-wide epidemic of men who are getting their needs met in this way...and how many single females fill our churches. I'm not saying I want to end up with a guy who goes to these bars. What i am saying is that I want these men to be honest about their longing to be a man and to discover the true source of where masculinity can be bestowed- from the Father God who created these men and whose heart breaks as he sees them settle for so much less than what he intended for them.

We then went to the hotel that has a restaurant full of Uzbek women, scantily clad and hopeful to work enough to pay back their pimps and have some money leftover to send home. I approached 2 women and tried talking with them- I found out that thye had arrived only 2 days ago. One started talking on her cell phone and the other asked me to not talk with her. I was totally embarrassed and felt rejected and hurt- like a middle school kid in the cafeteria, hoping to not be turned down and failing miserably. My heart being tender anyway, I looked around at all the middle eastern men who were there looking for a good time and was sickened and repulsed by what I saw. I couldn't hold it together as I felt hot tears surge to the surface. My friend Kadie took me to the bathroom, let me cry, and prayed for me. I went home sad that night and woke up sad the next morning. I wondered if I really needed to keep doing this- clearly my heart is tender and affected by the atrocities I see every time I go. But I was reminded of the fact that just because I stop going doesn't mean this stops happening. And since I don't feel released from what God has asked me to do, I keep going, hopeful for breakthrough and that God would lead me to women who are hungry for more than what they are experiencing in these places.

But the really beautiful thing is what happened the next day. I felt prompted to start reading "These Strange Ashes", an autobiographical book by Elisabeth Elliot describing her time as a missioinary in Ecuador. One verse that was particularly powerful to her is found in Isaiah 50:7- "Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame." I found great comfort in reading the story of someone older and wiser than I who has also lived in a dark place and found comfort not from burying or killing her heart, but in trusting in her God and his heart towards her- being confident of what he has asked her to do and to keep going. Such good words. Needed words.

And then on a more fun and light-hearted note, I got to go on a super-fun bicycle tour of Bangkok.



It was called the jungle tour because they took us to this pretty undeveloped part of the city and we got to ride our bikes around for hours, seeing beautiful plants and hear the sounds of jungle-ish sounding birds. What a gift- to be reminded that heartache and brokenness is part of the world, but beauty and redemption are part of it, too. I want to camp out there- to have my eyes open tot he sweet gifts God wants to bring to me, and to wait for them expectantly.

So those are some of the most recent happenings here in my neighborhood. I hope you all are doing well!